what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
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