4 words: hood of his car
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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