Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
