I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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