so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
