So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
