I wannas sexs uuuuu
oh god the rape fog is back!
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
