Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Your penis caused this!
Randomize
