I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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