My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
