Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize