So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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