paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
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I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
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I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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