Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
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just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
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He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
