do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
