During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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