why didn't you poke me back
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
