put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
