Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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