yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
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