never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
