I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize