i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
