I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
