your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
