he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
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