STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize
