just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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