I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Randomize