But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
you will always have a special place in my vag
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
