so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Randomize
