you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
