Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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