Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
