He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
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