wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
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theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
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