It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
