Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
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This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
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I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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