hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize