i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
