What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
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... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
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I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.