He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
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It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
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ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.