I am in a vortex of obligation.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
27 Drunk People That Pissed Off The Cops And Got What They Deserved
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.