its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
