What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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