You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
my vag is so smooth its legendary
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Randomize
