you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
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