Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
