She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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