google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Randomize
