Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
