My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
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