biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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