Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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