PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
