sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
