my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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