i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
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