Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Randomize